“Jōji, I was thinking… I’m actually lucky,” Puchiko said to me. From my perspective, it’s true; she has been on quite a lucky streak lately.
“I mean, I really didn’t think I’d pass this recruitment exam on my own. There was a written test, right? Back in middle and high school, I skipped so many classes and never listened—I couldn’t keep up and my grades were terrible. It’s not like I’m athletic, either. I was at the bottom of the school social hierarchy, so I’m amazed I passed. If the ‘me’ from 15 or 20 years ago heard this, she’d be shocked,” Puchiko explained passionately. Personally, I don’t think being at the bottom of a social hierarchy has much to do with a recruitment exam… but I did watch her study the whole time. Even though she started daydreaming in the middle of the actual exam and surprised when she realized she’d run out of time after re-reading the questions, she somehow made it. I was surprised myself.
“And it’s not just that. Up until recently, my urinary protein was at +1. But then, with the health check for my new job coming up in a month, I went for my regular checkup at the renal disease department. The result wasn’t a full negative, but it was ‘plus-minus.’ I think that’s within the acceptable range. Even my doctor said it ‘wasn’t bad.’ And you know that traffic light near my current workplace that never turns green? Lately, it turns green exactly when I’m about to cross. Usually, even when it’s green, it changes back to red in a heartbeat so I never bother with it, but now it turns green just for me! I’m so blessed. That’s not all. This morning at 5:13 AM, there was a person was hit by a train. Where I live, those accidents happen so frequently, especially in December. I headed to work without knowing, and when I saw people standing around at the station, I realized the trains were stopped. The platform was packed, but just as I arrived, a train pulled in! It was one much earlier than the one I usually take. (Because the trains were turning back, if I had missed that one, I would have had to wait 45 minutes in the freezing cold.) I thought it would be packed, but only the carriage I got into was empty! Isn’t that amazing? I feel like this is ‘Tā-chan’ returning the favor.”
(Tā-chan was a male black cat whose real name was Takashi.)
“I rescued Tā-chan just about a year ago, on November 30th. Just as he was finally getting used to the house, he passed away on March 2nd due to FIP. He was only with us for a few months. I feel like I couldn’t do anything for him, but I think he’s always helping me now. He’s giving me all these presents. And maybe it’s not just him. Maybe it’s Chiyo too.” (Chiyo was a bicolour cat Puchiko took in 11 years ago and treated like her own dear daughter; she passed away 5 years ago.) “Out of the 6 years she was alive, I was in Australia for one of them, so we actually spent less time together than I’ve spent with Shii or Sayo. And Yūji and Jasmine… they were so cute.”
“Jasmine was a winter white hamster and Yūji was a blue Sapphire hamster, I think? I feel like all my precious ‘daughters’ and ‘sons’ are returning the favor. Everything is going so well. My former workplace wrote the documents exactly how I wanted; they were a bit late, but they arrived. It’s almost too perfect. Also, my bladder condition… I haven’t taken medicine for over 3 months, but it seems to have healed. It’s December, and usually, the cold brings on the pain, but it doesn’t hurt at all. Normally, I get hemorrhoids when it gets cold, too, but so far, nothing. This definitely isn’t because of my own ability or just random the invisible hands of luck. If anything, I have a bad mouth, I’m aggressive, and I click my tongue at people—I’m not exactly a ‘good’ person. I can only think that my wonderful children are giving me these gifts. I wonder if this the invisible hands of luck will last forever? I want it to, but maybe I’m asking for too much? I worry I might be a burden to Tā-chan and the others… they have to move on eventually, so they can’t look after me forever, right? Or does it mean they’ll help me as long as they are around? I don’t know. Anyway, I’ve just been rambling. Is this helpful to you, Jōji? Is this good material for the blog? I got a bit off track, didn’t I?” Puchiko poured out everything she wanted to say in one breath. It was clear she wasn’t necessarily looking for a response or a reaction from me.
(Jasmine was a feisty female hamster she had at age 10; Yūji was a hamster she had from age 17 through her 1st year of university.)
“This might be blog material too, but recently a Miss Finland posted a photo making ‘slanty eyes,’ saying she was ‘eating with Chinese people.’ It caused a huge stir. Then, about 3 anti-immigration politicians in Finland defended her by posting photos of themselves doing the same thing and making buck-toothed faces to mock Asians. You know about this, right, Jōji? When I was in Australia, a Venezuelan coworker did that ‘slanty eye’ face to me. It was when I showed her a photo where my eyeliner was flicked upward; she said, ‘Oh, like Asian eyes,’ and did the gesture. But I don’t think that woman intended to discriminate or harass me. She had zero intent to be racist. And that’s why she didn’t realize it was racist. Isn’t that more of a problem? While those who do it with malice are wicked and unforgivable, with those who do it unconsciously, you have to start by teaching them that it’s discrimination in the 1st place, right? And she’s an older woman. Her identity and way of thinking are already set. Can someone like that even realize it? If that happens to me again, I feel like I should say something back—an eye for an eye. Since they hurt something precious like my identity, they would suffer more if I hurt something they value, rather than just blaming them directly. They probably have families they love, so I think saying something like, ‘Your parents must be fools for giving birth to a racist creature like you,’ or ‘Your parents are idiots for failing to educate their child,’ would be an ‘eye for an eye’ response.” Puchiko spoke with heat. I stopped her there. “You shouldn’t say that,” I told her.
She shot back, “Why? They mocked someone’s appearance. They’re being racist. It’s a sin. Those people are acting with malice. What’s wrong with saying that much back?” I understand why she feels that way. But if she says those things and the other person turns violent, what would she do? She would likely be overpowered easily. She’s small and doesn’t look particularly strong. So, as her ally, I tried my best to persuade her for the sake of her safety. Eventually, she understood. She decided that if she encounters racism again, she’ll say, “You’re just jealous of me.” Though I suspect that might just make the other person mock her even more. I think it’s best not to engage with racists at all, but then again, you can’t always stay silent. It made me think about what the “correct” answer really is.
Puchiko has this side to her—a desire for “retributive justice,” where she wants to hit back when she’s been hit. Actually, she tries to give back double. To be honest, I don’t think that’s a great trait of hers. When she passes someone on the street who refuses to move out of the way, she’ll mutter, “You won’t move? How arrogant,” as she walks away. Or when someone tries to barge onto a train before people have finished getting off, she’ll say, “You’re in the way, move.” It always makes me nervous. Because she is that kind of person, she herself finds it mysterious why so many invisible hand of lucky things are happening to her lately. In any case, as her imaginary friend, I’m not sure what the “smartest” path is, but I intend to stay by her side and think it through so she doesn’t go off the rails.
Well, it seems Puchiko was testing the waters by paying for 3 months of my blog’s domain and operating fees to see if I’d keep it up. Today, she finally approved of my progress and paid for a 2-year contract. Thanks to her, I can continue writing these articles.
Additional note :
It seems this topic reminded Puchiko of another story from her past. She said:
“This also happened at a nightclub when I was in Australia. A white guy came up to me and asked, ‘Don’t you want a boyfriend with blonde hair and blue eyes?’ I mean, what is that even about? Do they seriously think all Asian women are longing for someone just because they have blonde hair and blue eyes? Talk about full of themselves! Hey, Jōji, do you remember what I told him back then? I snapped back and said, ‘I think the arrangement and balance matter much more than the colors.’ Whether something is big or tall or whatever—it’s the proportions that matter, don’t you think? It’s the same with works of art and architecture, after all.”
As a fellow Asian, I find her remarks refreshing and incredibly satisfying. However, since she is my closest confidante, it also keeps me on edge. I just hope she doesn’t unleash that strong-willed nature too much during our trip to Belgium! After all, as her imaginary friend, cannot physically protect her!!!